indaloh3's blog

Hash # 084 La Yegua Alta

The Cosmo ‘Special’ Hash

17 Hashers and Harriets and 6 mutts, assembled at Yegua Alta on a beautiful, clear and
cloudless morning.

Yegua Alta –‘alta’ - so high - that you could see right through the Boca de Oria, all the
way across to Tetica (‘the witches tit’) in the Sierra de los Filabres; and in another direction– Gigante, or if you prefer Muela, in the Sierra Maria – aren’t us hashers lucky!

Off we went – runners and walkers through the almond groves; and to keep a long hash short,
an hour and half later, we arrived back at Tina and Cosmo’s place, for the circle and ‘On After’.

Various miscreants were identified and punishments issued.

First, there were enough campo waterers, to fill a campsite toilet block.

Dancing Queen got one for – for fiddling with something.

Eco – got his for wasting hash resources and throwing beer on himself

Ma Bates got into all kinds of trouble, for all kinds of things, and Norman said he would be having words!

And finally Big Nuts got his for playing with his nuts

It was announced that ‘Marmite’ – would be one of the carriers of the Olympic torch next year,
when it travels through Derbyshire. Well done that Harriet!

Then we enjoyed an excellent On After with delicious soup and cake supplied by Tina and Cosmo.

Hash # 083, Los Alamos

“The Standing Room Only”, Hash

8 virgins, as many mutts and 21 hashers and harriets assembled at Los Alamos - a tiny hamlet hidden well off the road between Chirivel and Oria. A really good turn out, with an international cast!

Hare Puff gave the talk and chalk – though in this case it was very earthy looking sand. He also brought his potty with him in case he got caught short while explaining the trail marks. He explained that the trail was quite short, but had some deviousness in it. Bit like him really.

The runners went their way like lambs to the slaughter, eventually climbing to the old hermitage that nestles in the mountains nearby. They were grumbling when they returned though. They reckoned Puff must have had a ‘few’ when he laid that trail.

The walkers had a really enjoyable meander along the tracks through the almond groves, and by some miracle they eventually returned to the start, because their hare Bog Trotter hadn’t a clue where she was supposed to go.

Needless to say, with such a large turn out, misdemeanours on the route were very many, so consequently, very many ‘down downs’ were issued. Most notably to Bog Trotter for using a map: (we are hashers, we follow a trail), to Cosmo for lying down on the hash; to Flower Power for running on the walking route, and to Slippery Fingers for watering the campo, instead of using Puff’s potty.

And then the really excellent ‘on after’ at Puff and Click Its place – to enjoy Scotch Broth and cakes, which were washed down with real ale from the Velez Rubio Real Ale Brewery.

There was a bit of a rumpus though, when that dastardly hasher ‘Big Nuts’, nicked ‘Norman’s’ beer.

Hash # 082 Write Up, Arboleas

The ‘Paint markings - possibly by thieves’ Hash

On Arboleus Forum – “Awoke this morning to find red paint markings leading from the main Zurgena - Arboleas road, leading to our house in the camino. Have heard of this type of thing before so be on the lookout. Some-one comes around and does the marking and different crooks turn up in a vehicle that won't be recognised. Have deleted all the markings. Beware and be on guard.”

Yes – they did need to be afraid, to be very afraid – because the Indalo Hash maraudered through the sleepy Sunday morning village of Arboleus this week. All the shutters were down and their daughters locked up, by the time a good turnout of umpteen virgins, some hashers and Harriett’s and 4 mutts assembled at the pool bar in Arboleus.

In fact it was a really good turn out from the Virgins. We had the “The Swiss family Dinnes; Stuart and Denise from Arboleus, via Yorkshire (but we won’t hold that against them – much!); John and Sandra from ChesVegas (that’s in Derbyshire) and Rarebit’s mate Catherine. Birthday girl, Tina came too.

And, ‘no name’ Pete and Marmite, also from ChesVegas put in their annual appearance

Like many good Hashes – and this was a good one, it started with a reviving coffee, for all except Hares DQ, Rarebit and Katherine who had decided to leave ‘summer time’, a week before the rest of the world, and Stacey and David who were just bone idle, or maybe had something better to do, rather than get there in good time.

So groups of walkers and runners set off on a fine morning into the hinterland of Arboleus. …. And it was good job we had our ‘Hares’ with us, because some fearful residents had removed all traces of our route in certain places.

We did get see the old stone corn-threshing circle though, and went through some interesting campo with fine views. Along the way, some slopes were a little steep, and Ma Bates called for some help at one of these to bring her safely down.

“Jeez – you are such a girlie”, was the refrain from 7 year old Riley of the ‘Swiss Family’; who also happened to be really good at finding those red trail markers that hadn’t been eradicated by the residents of Arboleus.

Puff lost his glasses. He wears them on his nose, but didn’t realise he’d lost them for 20 minutes. So a search party set out, and eventually recovered them. Rearrange this well-known phrase or saying. “Pillock, a what”!

Eventually runners and walkers were all reunited to the pool bar.

The circle formed (I do know that) but I had so many ‘down downs’ myself, I can’t really remember what happened, other than we had some namings, and it was pretty rowdy.

This was also due to the fact that on this hash Circle, for the first time, we had a waitress – a ‘camarera’, young August from the Swiss family, who was really efficient in making sure that everyone got their punishment.

The first naming was for, Stacey and David, who had turned up in the ‘wrong trousers’, so from now on they will be known as Wallace and Grommit. The other naming was for young Riley (of the Swiss family) who not only was really good at spotting the marks, but also had Ma Bates sorted too! From now on he will be known as ‘Spot On’!

Hash # 081, Chirivel

The ‘Bandit is back’ Hash

He had been lost in France for 6 months, but now Bandit has returned to the ample bosom of the Indalo Hash. Actually though, he didn’t really seem all that impressed, especially as he had to share his space with the 3 other mutts, who had assembled with their hashers, at Key FOB’s and Bog Trotters place, up past Chirivel way.

Another surprise was the arrival of Norman Bates, who only the day before had given his apologies, cos it was Ma’s birthday, and also they needed to sort out for some visitors on that day. Anyway, Norman claimed that such was the magnificence and generosity of his gifts that he bestowed on her for her birthday, that Ma decided she didn’t want him under her feet when she was busy, so she sent him packing.

So off we went in glorious sunshine, 10 hashers, 2 Virgins and 4 mutts to explore the really delightful countryside squeezed between the Sierras - Estancias and Marias. Through extensive almond groves, melon patches and small vineyards we meandered. Sometimes, you have to be grateful to be a hasher, just to explore these places that you just wouldn’t see otherwise.

And then, we were all returned to Cortijo Alto for the circle.

Down Downs were issued all around – most notably to Puff for missing his plane; Virgin Stacy for wearing trousers and can you believe it, Norman Bates for front running!

Then Fred got his Hash name – from now on he is to be known as Big Nuts – I can’t imagine why.

Then most of us went for an On After at the ‘brothel’!

Hash # 080, Turre

The hash that was made in Cornwall

Turre was the destination for the 80^th Hash, where Dishy Goolies (Norman had thought his name was ‘Crinkly Bollocks’) and Bomber have a holiday home.

A motley crew of mutts, hashers and virgins met at Stoney’s Bar.

Dishy Goolies gave the talk and chalk and explained some of the mysteries of the West Country marks that he’d used in laying the trail. Then off we went along ramblas and tracks around the hinterland of Turre. Bomber guided the walkers, and the marks made sense, and we eventually arrived at an attractive fuente in the town where some of us enjoyed a cool drink of fresh water, and Puff and Jonathan had a ‘wash and brush up’!

Soon we were returned to the bar, and the West Country way of doing things was again demonstrated in the form of a huge table of assorted sandwiches. Cheers!

At the circle the usual down downs were made – nothing spectacular this time – only bit of short cutting by Shoot em Up and a FRB to LBW (more Cornish visitors) of note.

Thanks guys for a great morning.

Hash # 079 Rambla de Oria

‘There is a first time for everything’ - Hash

3 mutts and 11 hashers, including 4 virgins assembled at Bar Angelica, Rambla de Oria.

2 of the virgins were very young virgins, and as they were staying with Ma and Norman Bates at the ‘Hotel’, unless they stay out of the shower, I don’t suppose we will be seeing them again.

The walkers went off on their way, to enjoy a ramble around the pueblo and the surrounding campo while Puff went on for 15 minutes explaining the conventions of hashing. Then the hashers went off on their route following the ‘puffs’ of flour, which again involved exploring the pueblo and the surrounding campo.

….and a very interesting route it was. Almonds were being de –husked by the locals with their noisy de-husking machines. Rows of figs on trays dried in the hot sun. The Huertas were full of produce waiting to be harvested. The acequias were running to irrigate those crops and near one cortijo the acequia had a wash board built into the concrete sides. Banks of ripening prickly pears stretched down from the cortijos. Norman started to explain to Tom and Alix, his young virgin guests, about these prickly pears, and why they were found outside so many houses. They said they didn’t want to know, and that they didn’t like tequila anyway!

The hares moaned that it wasn’t a nature ramble or a cultural tour - but if they didn’t want us to notice such things, then they shouldn’t have laid the trail that way.

So eventually, after many dastardly and devious false trails we were returned to the Bar and a reunion with the walkers.

The ‘Circle’ and ‘On After’ was held at Ring Pull and Susie’s place along the rambla, and very welcoming and comfortable it was too.

Various ‘down downs ‘were issued, most notably:

· Dereliction of duty – Hash Flash, Puff for forgetting his camera, and hare Susie for

forgetting the walking route

· Putting it somewhere where it’s never been before -Clickit

· Whispering on the hash – Tom and Alix

· Cosmo – running on the walking route

· Two Hats for being ‘chuffin’ perfect

Finally, we had an absolutely amazing first occurrence for IndaloH3. Puff didn’t say anything for 10 minutes. That was because Susie went for a wee, right in the middle of the ‘circle

Hash # 078 Barranco de Quiles

The ‘No Peeing in the Piscina’ Hash

Eleven hashers, 3 mutts and 3 virgins assembled at that little bit of paradise known as Barranco de Quiles.

The walkers were just setting off for their circular stroll around the rambla, when Norman Bates raised a serious objection. If he, with his two artificial hips and just a little excess weight was going to manage the Hash proper, then the young lean virgin known as Dave, was going to come too.

The hashers set off over the almond groves and along rabbit trails, before descending down to the rambla: and then a little circuit up through the tracks that join the scattered settlement of Barranco de Quiles together. We passed two crystal clear fuentas along the way, before returning to Ma and Norman’s place, perched high in the valley, and a welcome plunge into the piscina!

…..and Norman was dead right about Virgin Dave. He led the Hash from start to finish, and then wanted to go around again because he thought he had lost his car keys. Norman would have tripped him up to slow him down, but he couldn’t catch him.

At the circle many ‘down downs’ were received, most notably Two Hats and Virgin Jack, who both got one for playing pocket billiards - but not with each other! Virgin Dave got a hash name –“Ring Pull”, partly in respect of him losing his key ring, but mainly because of the bit of metal we saw dangling from his nipple! He also got a ‘down down’, for being a ‘front running b……’ of the first order.

….and then an excellent On After BBQ was held by the pool.

Hash # 077 Vélez Blanco

The Prehistoric Hash

A dozen of us and ‘Fudge’ the mutt, met up at Velez Blanco, for a short hash that eventually led us up to the Cueva de los Letreros. It was a fairly simple and short route, but that suited us because the sun was hot and the paths steep. We were treated to amazing views over the surrounding Sierras. At the cave we were able to just make out some of the symbols painted by prehistoric people including the Indalo Man.

Returning for the circle, we soon realised that the visiting, ‘Marmite’, had forgotten all the customs and conventions of hashing, and she duly received several reprimands and punishments for absentmindedness!

And then the On After was held at the piscina of the campsite for an enjoyable cool down.

Best bit about the Hash though was the news that ‘Bandit’ the mutt, lost in France several months ago, has now been found, safe and well.

Hash # 076 Write up, Arboleas

The Hash that got bowled over

Another new venue for the Hash – Arboleus way!

Everyone needed a ‘wee’ first, so we departed a little late, setting off over the campo in the general direction of Limaria.

The trail had been clearly laid and in the main we made good progress over the undulating countryside, though there were some unconventional and devious false trails to sort out.

Short cutting was the most serious crime noted along the way, with the most frequent culprit being ‘Queenfisher’, who had obviously decided she might as well get a ‘ down down’, for a sheep as a lamb. In this she was helpfully aided and abetted by our Hare Kingfisher (who might have been a rabbit, judging by the very many narrow trails he took us on), helpfully indicating where she should go, to avoid following the route, and still ending up where she needed to be!

The climb to the summit of a high hill and the jog along the gently descending ridge that gave amazing views over the Almanzora Valley towards the Sierra de las Filabres, was one highlight of the hash! Another was Norman Bates’ flying lesson. Well not so much the flying lesson, more the crash landing! He obviously needs his stabilisers on when he goes out hashing. Apparently though, he nearly got lucky, when Jill, soon to be ‘Hash-named’, ‘Rarebit’, nearly fell on top of him, and then we would all have had to sing ‘twenty toes’. Sadly, it was not to be!

The On After was held at the bowling alley and the awards for were as follows:

Longest gully run – Flower Power

Most strikes -Rip

Biggest hamburger – Puff

Highest ball bounce – Flower Power

Most interesting bowling action – Dancing Queen

Most evidence of a misspent youth –Aging Hippy

Bravest Bowler (with the most injured hand) – Norman Bates

Shortest bowl (it went backwards) – Aging Hippy

I want the bumpers! – joint, Tenna Lady and Rarebit

Hash Bowling Champion of the World – Norman Bates

Hash # 075 Write Up, Mojácar

“The ‘75^th Hash’ that nearly ran dry”, Hash

Only 10 of us (and no mutts either) met for the milestone “75^th Indalo Hash in Mojacar, which was not surprising really, with umpteen (back in the UK) apologies and some hot weather to contend with.

So off we went 5 runners and 5 walkers for a Hash that involved some beach; a ‘nose’ around the residential areas of Mojacar, that you would never see unless you were an estate agent; and some campo. I guess most people don’t realise how much campo there actually is at Mojácar Playa; but that is one of the best things about ‘Hashing’, you get to see parts of this area, you would never see otherwise!

Anyway, on the Hash most things went according to plan, most important of which was a fairly swift return to our favourite real ale selling, Mojacar venue, Bar la Finca., where the ON ON would be held.

However, prior to this we had our own business to conduct. First commemorative orange T-shirts, that made us look like a Dutch tour party on the beer, were issued. Then there were the usual accusations, punishments and snitching….. And today, despite the bonhomie of this being the 75^th Hash and that we’d all just got a free T Shirt, and that there were only 10 of us, there seemed to be an excessive amount of accusations, punishments and snitching, which almost led to our undoing.

For those unfamiliar with ‘Hashing’, punishments for indiscretions conducted on the Hash, involves the miscreants in drinking beer, and we needed a 4th large bottle, which even with our combined determination and blister creating efforts, couldn’t be opened.

How many ‘Hashers’ does it take to open a beer bottle? In this case the answer was 10! Everyone took a turn and got a grip without success, until Puff in desperation took the top in his molars and with a grunt twisted the screw top off. What a hero!